Thursday, April 29, 2010

Chone, Revisited and Epitomized

I recently wrote a piece about the newest word to hit the bro lingo, CHONE. However, if I had my hands on this video, I would have saved myself some serious time and effort in defining it. I cited Kyle Harrison's choney video, but that was littered with several different goals, making it difficult to separate the chone from the regular run of the mill goals. So, courtesy of Sam Elmes and Lacrosse Playground, Johns Hopkin's attackman Kyle Wharton would like to inform you exactly what the epitome of Ripping Chone truly is. I give to you, the best lacrosse video you will see today:

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Link That Made of All of This Blogging Worth It

Last week, I was peacocking about how the UNH Student Newspaper finally decided to cover us. It was great, some local pub from a newspaper that circulates to a few thousand people in the Greater Seacoast Area. However today, like a company announcing they are going public, the little UNH Men's Lacrosse Blog that was dreamed up in "The Condo" just went national.

Today was a normal day for me. Had a few peanut butter sandwiches, watched some Champions League, started thinking about the playoffs this weekend. However, while perusing the greatest website of our generation, Twitter, I saw this Tweet from Lacrosse All Stars.
"2010: The Year Of Chill? Who rules the throne: @UNHLacrosse @RedHotBuffs or @chapmanlax?" Accompanied by this link.
It couldn't be true. My piece about CHILLING, of all things, has sparked a well known lacrosse website to an entire column? And they're linking to my website? Well after I choked on my sandwich, I realized that's exactly what happened. That's right, the great people of LAS who brought you the infamous Red Army Controversy, found my blog post about how the word chill has gotten us to where we are today. They even featured a snippet of my article and a picture of myself and my beautiful home on Young Drive. I was literally frozen in shock.

UNH Lacrosse has always flown under the radar. No more. We are officially not only on the map, but being compared to these teams because of our ridiculous amount of schwag. Not to be an egomaniac, but this can only be contributed to one thing. The Blog.

From the creation of the blog, to Twitter, to columns on, over the course of just one year, this team has generated the exact buzz that I thought would be impossible. Because of the beautiful thing called the internet, players, coaches, and fans are talking about UNH Lacrosse. As pathetic and lonely as it may sound, I can not help but to be incredibly excited. I feel like the proud father of Sidney Crosby. Waking up at 6am for practices, cold drives to rink, hundreds of dollars on skates are the equivalent of sleepless nights thinking about my next column, pesky HTML, and writing articles for the steep price of zero dollars. But then on draft day, when Sid signed an 8 million dollar deal, it all felt like it was worth it.

Well, today, despite my light wallet, I feel like a million bucks. I can see my name in lights, kissing babies and shaking hands with the Pope, while receiving my Pulitzer for Most Incredible Blogger of All-Time. But first, I guess I should worry about the PCLL Playoffs this weekend. nd the giant load of laundry on my floor. That and actually getting a full-time job for after I graduate so I can pay rent. I promise to do my best to not let this all go to my already oversized dome, because the truth is, for anyone to succeed, you gotta keep your comBROsure.

Link to the original Lacrosse All Stars piece can be found here.

Monday, April 26, 2010

'Cats Round Out Regular Season In True Form

In one of the more ridiculous seasons in MCLA history, the UNH Wildcats finished up on Sunday with a win against BU. Despite the goal being scored above, the 'Cats clawed out a 13-12 win on Senior Day improving them to 10-2, which is appropriately, the best season that myself and the other seniors have had in all four years. We've come a long way since going 5-7 last season, also seeing as we were 1-4 within the division, but it hasn't come easy, and it has been far from predictable.

Recently, we played Stonehill College, a team who has given us trouble in the past, but is still a PCLL Division 2 team nonetheless. Well, after sitting in Boston traffic for 2 hours and arriving 8 minutes before the opening draw, we found ourselves in dogfight that we weren't exactly expecting. It took 3OT's, but eventually we got out of there alive, and was ready to move on to BU. Sound similar to another game this season? Like when URI, a team that finished 1-6 this season, and 0-5 in conference took us to double overtime, before we could close them out. Sure both games ended with a W, both coming from OT game winners by #2, but that's not important. In the first season that my seniors and I have won 10 games, here's a few observations from this season:
  • Both of our losses came to top 15 teams. (CSU #3, Boston College #15)
  • We won six games by 5 goals or less, four by a mere one, two of which were in OT.
  • The two teams that took us to OT combined for 5 wins all season.
  • We won one game by 22 goals, and another by 14.
  • We beat CU, who beat Michigan, snapping a 75 game winning streak. Irrelevant, but rad.
  • We played 6 games in the rain, and one well below freezing, winning all but one of them.
  • We've been in the Top 25 several times this season, peaking at 17 and currently resting at 24.
  • Captain Dan Milano has 26 assists this season, leading the conference. The second guy? 13.
  • The top three total point scorers in the PCLL are all from UNH.
  • The top three goal scorers in the PCLL are all from UNH, including the top guy who boasts a selfish 28 goals and 4 assists.
  • Our defense has only given up more than 10 goals twice.
  • Of our enormous roster, rookies Joe Gardiner and R.J. O'Riordan are the ONLY two players who have flow.
How did this happen? The stars don't align for any of these stats, and if you try to make sense of it your head might explode. The only thing I have learned is that we don't play well on the road, and that we play down to teams we think we should beat. The good news is, that it's playoffs now it's only good teams from here on out. The better news is that the playoffs are right here in the 603, so we don't have to worry about traveling until we fly to CO, the state where we happened to play our best ball of the year. So getcha popcorn ready, because Friday night at 7 we will be hosting the semifinals of the PCLL playoffs with nothing but momentum on our sides. Except now there's only one rule. In the words of Kenny Blankenship, "Don't Get Eliminated!"

Friday, April 23, 2010

UNH Potluck/Senior Day Tailgate. Don't Know What To Bring? Have No Fear

Like I mentioned earlier, this coming Sunday we will be having a tailgate after the BU game. This is open for all parents, fans, and of course, the players. It will most likely be happening right next to the field as it has in the last few years, but stay tuned for an official announcement. And because of the incredible technology of 2010, you can click on this link below, and see what everyone else is bringing so we don't end up with 64 hot dogs and no buns. This is going to be legitimate, and I promise you that you won't want to miss it. Also, we beat Stonehill the other day, and in UNH Lacrosse form, it took 3 OTs to do so. I'll blog more about it soon, but its Friday and its 80 degrees out, so I don't want to spend it sitting in front of my computer seeing as thats how I'm going to be spending the rest of my Fridays after May 22nd. (sigh)

See what people are bringing!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

We Have Officially Just Become the Chillest Team on the East Coast

(Photos courtesy of Tim the Tool Man Harrington)
Chill. This one simple word has gotten the Wildcats to where we are this season. In the past, we have been a team full of hootin' and hollerin, loud warmups, and screaming coaches. No more. Due to a large influence from rookie goaltenders, Jake Katz and RJ O'Riordan, we are a cool, calm and collected group of bros who feed off of positive vibes. When people start to panic, our captains simply just tell everyone to chill. We have Miike Snow and Phoenix on our warm-up. In a game earlier in this season, offensive coordinator Ben Clark was quoted as telling his man up squad to "Keep your comBROsure out there."

A lot of this has come from the vibes of other successful MCLA teams, and we have taken that approach to northeast. In Boulder, there is no choice but to chill. Everyone is relaxed, people are nice, and don't sweat the small stuff. Out in Cali, Connor Martin and Chapman are one of the most successful clubs in the country, and their team is simply a bunch of bros who post ridiculous videos on the internet about flow. Chaptown was the inspiration for our tanks. We were the inspiration for the Red Hot Buffs blog which has recently become an empire, making my blog look like child's play. And everyone is still keen with everyone.

I have made a proposition, to the likes of both Colorado and Chapman via Twitter, offering one of these beach tanks for a piece of your respective merchandise. A tank from Chaptown, and a snazzy COLO-RADO shirt from the Buffs. I am a size large. Bring the live free or attitude to your respective squads, and let's continue to CHILL as hard as I am on my front lawn right now.

UNH Gets Pub (Beyond the Blog)

(picture is fromThe Newsies. Myyyyyyyy second favorite musical)

The New Hampshire, UNH's only student run publication, which is circulated to about 5,000 people every Tuesday and Friday, was published yesterday, and to almost everyone's surprise there was an article about the Wildcats win over UCONN on Saturday. This is the very first legitimate outlet that has covered one of our games this season, and hopefully not the last. I'd suggest giving this article a read because unlike the blog you are reading now, it will give you a non-biased and newsworthy representation of the show we put on Saturday afternoon. Pair that with an insightful quote from Evan Flower, and even Yours Truly on the other side the microphone, and you've got quite a story for an industry in its dying days. Quite simply, just another piece of brilliant journalism brought to you by the hardest working students in the hardest major at the University.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Message From the Honorable Barry Katz

(Actual photo from last year's tailgate)

Many of you have seen the bearded man with the Winnebago that has been one of the most faithful fans both of the Wildcats as well as the blog since he has caught wind of both. Despite providing the boys with everything from pulled pork sandwiches to a wealth of lacrosse knowledge, this man has been there every step of the way. This man is the one, the only Barry Katz. And he has kindly reached out to the only source that UNH Lacrosse fans trust, (here) in order to spread his generosity to other UNH fans that are looking to get the same full experience that he rocks week in and week out.

For every father, brother, sister or friend attending the UNH game tonight, you are cordially invited by UNH Lacrosse to join Barry Katz at Stonehill College tonight, for a little pregame tailage. He will begin the festivities around 6 oclock and you can find him in the parking lot in a big white Winnebago. There will be food, drinks, etc. and everything that you would expect from a legendary tailgater like BK.

That being said, with a little bit more notice, we are also putting together a BBQ for AFTER the BU game on Sunday afternoon. This one will not only be for the fans, but for all of the players as well, being the last regular season home game. Everyone is encouraged to come as it will be a great opportunity to meet all the players and families that you have been dying to talk to all season long. So bring anything from your world famous dessert to a side salad, truly anything will help. If you are the organizational type and would like to email Barry to coordinate something for either game, his email is I'll see you all in Easton later tonight.

Monday, April 19, 2010

UNH Runs UCONN, 10-4, With Highlights to Prove It.

As shocking as it may sound, we played UCONN on Saturday, in the rain. That's right, and for those of you counting at home, and for those of you counting that is our 6th rain game of the year, out of only 8 games played in New England. In any event, the Wildcats played top to bottom, some of the best lacrosse we've played since Colorado. Rides, clears, finishes, dodges, and most importantly, goals were all dominated by the home squad. All the highlights from the game can be found in the video above, which was made by our fantastic new camera operator. Though the music is incredibly corny, it's still nice to see all the goals, hits and saves that you missed by being a fair weather fan.

On a more serious note, as many people know, the big game was being played in memoriam of UNH Lacrosse Alumni, Mike Bowen, who recently lost his battle with cancer. Mike has been a part of the 2010 Wildcats since he inspired us before we played Boston University this fall in what would be ultimately be the last UNH game he would be able to watch. Mike is on our minds, on our helmets, on our shooters, and in our hearts, and will surely be watching as we head into the final stretch of the playoffs before conference playoffs come to Durham in two weeks.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Ladies and Gentleman, Your Defensive Coach

My sincerest apologies to Coach Saint, but I really had no other option but to make this gem public for the world to see. No witty comments, no captions, and most importantly no PhotoShop to make this funny. Simply an image to enjoy. Side note: I will probably have to run for this.

Friday, April 16, 2010

What Exactly is CHONE?

(One of many victims to the CHONE)

All around the lacrosse community there are words and phrases that get tossed around in which only the most knowledgeable of lax bros can comprehend what they truly mean. Whether its a greaser, ripping the duck, or twine tickling 101, these combinations of words truly transform one's vocabulary. The newest term to grace the turf of Memorial Field? Chone.

Crafted in the Commonwealth Lacrosse world headquarters in Franklin, MA, chone is as much of a word as it is a lifestyle. I can't take credit for the invention of the word, however, I can take credit for making it a part of everyone's every day to day vocabulary. Pronounced in a way that rhymes with phone or loan; chone is a word that can be used on almost any occassion as nearly any part of speech. It's incredibly versatile, similar to the Mariner's newest utility man, but they are not to be confused.

Chone refers to a rip that snaps the tag directly under the crossbar. It was originally used with the word upper as it's modifier. For example, the first time I heard it in a sentence while shooting on a cage, a wise man said to me "Watch me rip this biscuit upper chone while you're still too busy going side meat patty." (I promise that is an actual, direct, accurate quotation) However, it has developed into its own animal, with people crafting phrases like "Choney", "Chone Darts", "Chonemeiester", or the ever elusive "Chone Zone." Basically, if you are in the chone zone, you will not be stopped, and every shot will be nothing short of a ripper d.

The reaction to ripping chone can be handled one of two ways. If you're the OchoCinco type, you can act out a preemptively drawn up cele, causing a scene but possibly risking a two minute unsportsmanlike penalty. More commonly, you can take the Dan Milano approach and shrug it off, acting like you do it on the reg. The great one's have all done the latter, from Michael Jordan, to Eldrick himself. It's kind of like apologizing for what you just did, yet still having no remorse for the action you just took. I compare the Chone Shrug to when the ever thoughtful Pilgrims invited the Native Americans for the first Thanksgiving. Sorry for slaughtering your entire extended family, but here, have some cranberry sauce, it's legit. You just look in the face of the opponent in disbelief and simply say in a collected voice, "Chone?" And though they will be beyond furious, they will likely nod their heads, respecting a good chone as it happens.

Rarely, and I mean rarely, do long poles get the chance at chone glory. The greats have tried to bring the word into their habits on the barbaric end of the field, and we have welcomed their efforts with open arms, however the perfect remedy has yet to be found. The best thing about chone, see, is that has the ability to transfer between sports, as long as a net is involved. Rip one bar down from outside the 18 in FIFA? Chone. Zdeno Chara scores a power play goal on a slap shot from the blue line that knocks Ryan Miller's water bottle into the stands? Chone. When I watch the below video, and the shot that begins around the :5o second mark, there is really no combination of letters in the English language that describe it better than C-H-O-N-E.

So use it, spread it, embrace it. Because whether you like it or not now, the chone is here to stay and you are going to start hearing it a lot more often. It will slowly sweep the United States of America, and you will have me to thank for the early tip off. If you really can't stand it, may I recommend a little getaway for yourself? I heard there's some really nice beaches off the coast of Ecuador.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Wildcats Ranked #24 by CollegeLax

The following blog post takes place between the hours of 3 and 4 p.m. CTU has been notified that UNH is up one spot from last week in CollegeLax's essentially irrelevant poll. After going 3-0 over the weekend, the 'Cats are faced with two in conference games to decide their place in the PCLL playoffs. 2-0 equals a first round bye, 1-1 equals opening round host, 0-2 means we're traveling for round one and then coming back to Durham for the rest of the playoffs. It's crunch time and Jack Bauer isn't around to bail anyone out in this season. Hopefully we can catch the Twine Flu that has been circling around, and tear these two like an upper left corner.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Cats Knock Off Northeastern, Hold Off URI...What?

In the past five days we have had three games, and went 3-0 nonetheless. More importantly, however, we have proved my hypothesis that the UNH Wildcats are the single strangest team in the MCLA for the 2010 season.

On Friday night down in the Bean, we played Northeastern, one of the perennial powers of the PCLL, and played a great game of lacrosse despite the monsoon conditions over Malden Catholic High School. Our game plan was tight, every one knew what to do, and we simply when out and executed. With a 6-6 halftime score, we once again proved the "second-half" team stigma, and outscored the Huskies 5-1 in third. The first line of middies produced like we practiced, being on the field for 9 of the 11 goals. Our defense was lock-down in the second half, strangling every possession the Huskies had, and limiting them to only 2 goals for the remainder of the game. Rarely, do I remember defensive stints, and even more rarely do I post them here, so this truly must have been special.

Following the big win Friday night, we had one night off and traveled down to Rhode Island to play the Rams of URI. Admittedly, we took the game a lot lighter than we should have, and went down there still peacocking our chests from the NU win. We looked good in the first quarter in every category except the important one. We possessed the ball the entire quarter, let our defense breathe, and peppered the Rams with 13 shots in the first 15 minutes. However, we could only manufacture one goal on these takes and went into the second with only a 1-0 lead. This was a trend for us throughout the game as we let URI hang around to the point where our backs were against a wall, and all of the momentum was on the home sideline. It seemed we couldn't catch a break. It felt like every call was going the other way, every ground ball, and every time we missed the net, they seemed to be hitting the one on the other end. I know who I look, blogging about myself. It's self righteous and egotistical, and I usually tend to avoid it when it comes to write-ups. But being a hard-working journalist, I think my readers would want to know who scored the game winner in double OT to get the 'Cats out of Rhode Island, and I will not deprive them of that.

It's true, I dialed up the fluorescent green machine, ordered a #2 which consists of the face dodge to dip and dunk combo with extra high cheese and ketchup, and sealed the bag shut for a sudden victory goal. And though the meal was good, it didn't sit as well as the ones we had at Northeastern, or in Boulder. It was sour and unsettling. And when the stomach is rumbling, you have a few choices. You can complain about it and sit around and wait to get sick, or you can be mentally strong and use it as fuel for the rest of the day, because regardless of what it tasted like, its still food. That being said, the 'Cats have a dinner date with some new Huskies this weekend, a relationship ended in a bloody dogfight in which UCONN picked up the tab. Except this time, they're coming to eat at our house, and there's only one thing on the menu. NECTAR.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

CollegeLax Ratings

You know the deal. New CollegeLax Rankings are posted, and just scraping in are the Wildcats. Yeah, it's up a smidge from last week, but we haven't been working to just make it in. It's crunch time now, time to win some big games in conference and prove that we belong with the top guys. At this point, being named 25th in the country is like receiving a George Michael album in your Easter basket. You'll smile, and pretend like it means something but you know that once you get your other gifts later on, you'll forget about that Twenty-Five album real quick.

Friday Night Bites: 'Cats vs. Dogs

After a tough battle down at the Coliseum, the 'Cats are now gearing up for 2 more in conference games this weekend that hold just as much worth as the BC game last Friday. We'll be traveling down to Boston to play another perennial rival Northeastern Huskies on Friday night, in a game that will be played at Malden Catholic High School at 8 p.m. From there, Sunday, we have the lovely drive to Smithsfield, Rhode Island to take on the Rams of URI.

The focus is on the game this Friday night, as we have only beaten Northeastern once in my four years here, and it came in a 6-5 thriller that happened to be at Malden Catholic as well. The only guarantee for this game, is that a member of the beloved Red Army will come out on top, as NU's head coach, and Walpole native Joe Brady is one of the founding founders of the greatest Men's league teams on this side of the Great Wall. That being said, I gotta give it to the Army for their showing at the BC game. I wasn't expecting it, but to look up and see CCCP members both new and old, sent a single tear of joy trickling down my cheek. I'm sure they will be out in full force again Friday night, hopefully getting raw, and hopefully on the side of the Wildcats, but who I am to try and persuade them? I mean, I'm sure Northeastern's blog gives the Red Army the respect it deserves on the reg. . .

(Also there is a new poll up. I'm going to start interviewing players on the team with ridiculous and outrageous questions. If you'd like to see anyone in this segment, please let me know, and I'll be sure to accommodate)