Case of the Mondays

Mondays are no fun. The alarm always seems to go off half an hour to early, your fantasy team is mind numbingly frustrating, and you spend way to much time seriously pondering if Steve Buscemi from Boardwalk Empire is the ugliest actor you know off hand. Well, rest easy because I am brining you the inaugural Monday Video of The Week. Without further ado..

P.S. If you are reading this and not registered for the golf tournament ...what on earth are you waiting for? Whoever read the blog from Germany today ...you are excused

6 Pack of Questions

I have some good news and some bad news. The good news being that you are about to read the UNH lax fall ball questions that literally everyone is talking about. The bad news is that Quint Kessenich backed out at the last minute for a live chat on the blog. Therefore, I have decided to handle it myself.

1) What is the schedule looking like for the spring?

We have a very exciting and challenging schedule for the 2011 season. Of course, we have our familiar foes of the PCLL which always brings exciting action. We will be welcoming Colorado to Durham for a much anticipated re-match from last year. The hit just keep on coming as we will travel out west to take on Santa Clara, Wisconsin, and wait for it........ Arizona State. Rack up some frequent flyer miles while you can, you will not want to miss that trip.

2) Who will fill the shoes for the defense?

Last year we graduated two starting close defensemen, one LSM, and lost the services of another LSM due to some business in Beijing program or something. We have many new candidates chomping at the bit to get a piece of the action. Keep an eye out for converted goalie RJ, ( sans flow) freshmen Kris Johnson, Alex Sellar, Zach Merrigan, and Chris Morse to make an impact. Thankfully, we return D-middies Jordan Gauvin, Tom Narazzo, and Tim Harrington to help ease the transition.

3) Who will take the faceoffs?

I simply do not know. Jordan Gauvin, Dan Milano, Zach Goodwin, and Matt Essaray have all been taken draws at practice. It is a wide open competition.

4) Who are the fresh faces to keep an eye on?

This list is long so settle in.... "T" Keane is a little (literally) spark plug worth noticing for the attack. Kyle Kenny ( spelling?), C. Ryan, Cal Bailey, Zach Goodwin, Ethan Gauvin, and "Stokes" are playing well and ready to make noise from the midfield. Zach Merrican, Kris Johnson, Chris Morse, are the new long poles. Youth will be served this year.

5) Who is the blogger's break out player of the year?

It's hard to say that Evan Flower is going to break out after an All American selection last year, but he is a ticking time bomb ready to shred chone darts all over New England. My second pick: Garret Buckley , wait til you see his pecs.

6) Is it true that Rj cut his flow?

I don't want to talk about it.

UNH Lacrosse Is Hitting The Links

(Coach Sullivan, St. Germain, and Clarke respectively)

On Friday October 8th the UNH men's lacrosse team will be hosting an all day golf extravaganza. Take the day off, call out sick, drop the kids off at a friend's house and come enjoy 18 beautiful holes at the Oaks Golf Course in Somersworth, New Hampshire. Not only will you get to stripe some fairways, you will enjoy a fine lunch and walk away with a nice bag of goodies. This really is a true win-win get some golf in, meet the team, and help us with our fundraiser. I suggest getting a foursome together and try to make a run at winning it, which will be a tough task, as I already have my ringers notified and taking practice swings in the backyard.

Here is a link with more details and registration https://www.events.unh.edu/RegistrationForm.pm?event_id=7715

See you at the 19th hole...

Meet Your 2011 UNH LACROSSE CAPTAINS

UNH lacrosse is proud to announce its 2011 lacrosse captains. We have two newcomers and one familiar face leading us. Lets take a minute and get to meet the student-athletes.

Evan Flower- Junior Attackman who occasionally rips chone darts. Still anxiously awaiting first facial hair. WOMBAAAATS

Tom Nazarro- Senior Midfielder who moonlights as the team's president. Tom lifts weights, eats cake, and frowns upon The Hamel Recreation Center for their policy on sleeves.

Dan Milano ( on the right) A senior Midfielder who returns for his second season as a captain. Milano has a split dodge like a wishbone and knowledge of all major works of literature like Wishbone...

I have no idea who the kid on the left is, thank God, looks like a duster.

From The Ashes It Rises

For those of you out there who are unaware, Durham's finest Navy, which belonged to the gentlemen at 34/36 Young Drive, was tragically sunk in a peace keeping mission last year. While the waters were left unguarded, the river behind the house became less certain than the coast of Somalia,

Not to fear, the Young Drive Navy has risen again. Thanks to yours truly we can all breath a little easier as I found an inflatable raft this week. I am obviously the vessels fearless sea captain, with Tim Harrington and Dan Milano serving as the skipper and first mate respectively. This is a warning to all schools close to the water ( cough BC NORTHEASTERN cough) that you are being watched.

New boss chosen....

All good things must come to end. In his last move as The Godfather of this blog, Michael Joseph Maloney displayed the cerebral and intestinal fortitude that typified his reign. With confidence he chose Jake Katz to lead this blog into the future.

In his first act as the new blogboss Jake declared a new attitude of transparency and issued the following introductory press release.

---

For Immediate Release - August 2010

• My name is Jake Katz
• I am #6 in your programs (and #1 in your hearts).
• I am a Senior Communications Major.
• I enjoy listening to Dave Matthews Band and have an encyclopedia like knowledge of all Disney Channel Orginial Movies ( This will not be the first time Smart House is referenced)
• I don't find Princeton Maze to be a waste of time at all
• I left my heart at the Walrus in Boulder Colorado
• We are going to have some fun this year so stay tuned

Here is a trivia question for nobody in particular

What music band or singer has made the most money off touring in the past 10 years?

I could tell you, but why don't I SHOW you..... (click me...click me good)

Farewell

This is your captain speaking, brace yourself, as you are now reading the final blog post from Michael Maloney on the UNH Men's Lacrosse Blog. I've touched on this before, but today I bid the blog adieu as it is time for me to move on to the real world. As much as I wish that entailed me going on an MTV show for three months, unfortunately I'm headed into the real world, and not onto The Real World.

The blog has been great to me. It was a lot of fun, and watching it grow over time from just a few posts about our clinic, to a website with over 16,000 hits ranging from Inglewood, Calfornia to West Bengal, India. It has given me a place to write what I want, how I want, away from the rules and regulations of covering for newspapers. People telling me that they check the blog regularly and that cracks them up, only made me want to write more. It was grounding for me, which is usually pretty hard to do to with this ego. I want to thank all of the avid followers I've had since Day 1, parents of players, actual players, Tweeters, female fans, other teams and lacrosse websites. It has truly been a pleasure on this side of the computer.

Without its fearless leader, however, the blog will still live on. I have reluctantly passed it on to two or three players who are more than capable of keeping this ship afloat and hopefully make it sail to the point that we are literally kidnapping recruits from Hopkins. Speaking of that, many of you have read my complete liberal use of the word literally. Over time it has grown into a running joke, as people tend to misuse it all the time. Just imagine me running into a high school with a ski-mask on and kidnapping a recruit, literally. So, moving on to another job that isn't going to pay me any money, in my immense amount of free time in my final semester I have created a new monster. Literally Incorrect.

In all seriousness though, thank you to everyone who ever read the blog, told someone about the blog, or told me something to blog about. You made my life more enjoyable and I can only hope that I did the same with my run-on sentences and obscure Bruce Springsteen references. Comment on this post wishing the new guys the best of luck, and if you want to thank me just carry on your amazing loyalty to them as well to help this team grow. If you really wanna thank me, you can offer me a full-time job. (Seriously)

End of The Year Blog Awards

The Pioneer Collegiate Lacrosse League recognizes the players that fill the stat sheets, and those who do their best to try and slow down the Offensive Player of The Year. However, there are many players that are left out, and truly keep the PCLL in tact. I am here to give them what is rightfully theirs. I give you the inaugural Blog All Stars.

Sideline Voice of The Year
Zack Scantron, for his rowdy antics all year, but especially for his dance at the UCONN game.

Best Nickname
A true toss up between Connor "C-Money" Murphy and Jeff "Blanco" White, but this one goes to Blanco as it has become universal enough that I literally just found out his name was Jeff today.

Quote of the Year
"Keep Your Com-BRO-sure." -Assistant Coach Ben Clark during a sideline conference with the man-up squad. Ben also received accolades for Best Facial Hair in league with Tim Harrington's lineup coming in a close second.

Most Useless Rookie
Jake Katz, in a landslide. Jake was nominated for never setting up the field, never carrying anything to Outer, and not participating in a single ball hunt because "it is my THIRD year of college lacrosse, I am not a rookie."

Likely 2012 Occupants of Young Drive
Dang Hutchins, JT Markley, Blanco, RJ, Drew O'Connor, C$, Gardiner, Evan "Stank" Flower.

Worst Left Hand
Dan Hutchins. Your Division I First Team close defender has a left hand that could make babies cry. Hutch will never throw lefty, but makes up for his crafty HTML skills. Jake Katz was not eligible for this award because he is a goaltender, however, it should be known that his left hand is worse than a lukewarm Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Most Deceiving Athlete
John Tyler Markley. Great body, great abs, amazing closing speed, a well deserved actual All-Star. Do not be fooled, however, because I learned yesterday that he is terrible at volleyball, can't throw a football, and rides a moped. However, his Jai Alai skills will be unrivaled after his 12 month stint in China next season.

Best Tattoo on the Team
The CUSANO rib tat is really intense. Well not really intense, but pretty intense. However, Finnain "Spikehorn" Donovan shows his devotion to Vacationland with the outline of Maine tatted over his entire side. It almost makes me think that Maine is a real state.

Chillest Bro on the Squad
Two letters. R.J. No questions asked.

Hit of the Year
With stars glimmering in his eyes, Tom Nazzaro scooped a ground ball, and was one on with the goalie on his way to his first career goal. What he didn't know was that the goalie was the Peter Gabriel, who proceeded to absolutely demolish Naz in front of our largest crowd of the regular season. Dan Milano's was second, Joe "The Body Snatcher" Gardiner was third.

Best Dancer on the Team
Obviously, if it were up to me, I'd be claiming this hardware. However, to keep some integrity on the blog, it goes to both James Rubio and Scott LeMay who are both capable of burning holes in the dance floor.

Name That I Have Wanted To Put On The Blog All Season, But Have Not Had the Right Opportunity Other Than Obscure Awards That I Am Making Up On The Spot....Award
Rob Johnson. The Notorious R.O.B. is a staple of the squad, dominates the Gables, and has an iron jaw. To leave him out of this would be like leaving senior James Rubio off the PCLL All-Star team despite his 31 points, and stellar championship game. It would be unjust, unholy and just flat out wrong.

Congratulations to everyone who received awards. It is the highest honor on the Internet. You can claim your award at 34 Young Drive between the hours of fake and nothing o'clock p.m.

Several Wildcats Named to PCLL All-Conference Teams

In the annual PCLL end of season meeting, the coaches gathered from around New England to assemble the Dream Team of the PCLL. With every team sending at least one player to the All-Star game, there were seven Wildcats that were considered the cream of the metaphorical crop.

First Team
Yours Truly (midfield)
Evan Flower (attack)
Dang Hutchins (defense)

Second Team
Dan Milano (midfield)
Brennan Duke (defense)
John Tyler Markley (long stick midfield)

Honorable Mention
Jake Katz (goaltender/stand-up comedian)

In addition to these awards, Head Coach Jake Sullivan was named the PCLL Coach of the Year, and a UNH midfielder was named Offensive Player of the Year partly due to his 33 goals, but mostly for the stellar .29 assist per game average that he upheld over a 14 game stretch, very impressive if I do say so myself. Stay tuned for my hand-picked All-Star team based on categories that the PCLL doesn't (but should) recognize.

UNH Drops PCLL Title Game in Thriller

There really isn't too much to be said about what happened yesterday, as everyone reading this surely knows the end result. But being the dedicated resource that I am, I feel obligated to at least touch on the playoffs that happened in Durham this weekend.

After handling Northeastern 13-4 in the semifinals, we were set to play BC in the PCLL championship game. The number 1 seed vs. the number 2 seed, just the way the seeding gods had planned it. The Eagles were back-to-back-to-back PCLL Champions, and we were just a team having it's best season in recent history. BC went up 5-1 at half, but in an electric 3rd quarter the 'Cats put up 6 goals, and went into the fourth with a 7-6 lead. Then things got interesting. A two goal lead for UNH was erased with a minute and a half left, and the game was set for overtime. Of course.

BC possessed the ball for the entire overtime period, denying us even a single shot in the first four minute period, but Jake Katz literally played out of his mind, keeping our hopes at Denver alive. The game went into a second OT, where despite winning the faceoff, we were unable to hold possession. BC eventually got the right look, on a roll from x, and Christian Falco rolled one past Katz for the gamewinner that would ultimately end our season.

If there's a better way to lose a conference championship game, I haven't heard of it yet. That being said, its a double edged sword as the pain of it happening so fast is unrivaled. There was still an outside hope that we could receive one of six at large bids to Denver, however, this morning the committee announced the seedings and the 'Cats had been left off the guest list. Congratulations to Boston College who will play Colorado State University (#2) in Denver next weekend, and the UNH Wildcats for an 11-3 season that will not soon be forgotten.

(For more extensive coverage, pick up the newest issue of MCLA Mag, set to hit newsstands in the coming week or so. I wrote a very detailed article about the PCLL tournament and the championship game yesterday and really was in no rush to do it again here. Apologies)

Chone, Revisited and Epitomized

I recently wrote a piece about the newest word to hit the bro lingo, CHONE. However, if I had my hands on this video, I would have saved myself some serious time and effort in defining it. I cited Kyle Harrison's choney video, but that was littered with several different goals, making it difficult to separate the chone from the regular run of the mill goals. So, courtesy of Sam Elmes and Lacrosse Playground, Johns Hopkin's attackman Kyle Wharton would like to inform you exactly what the epitome of Ripping Chone truly is. I give to you, the best lacrosse video you will see today:

The Link That Made of All of This Blogging Worth It

Last week, I was peacocking about how the UNH Student Newspaper finally decided to cover us. It was great, some local pub from a newspaper that circulates to a few thousand people in the Greater Seacoast Area. However today, like a company announcing they are going public, the little UNH Men's Lacrosse Blog that was dreamed up in "The Condo" just went national.

Today was a normal day for me. Had a few peanut butter sandwiches, watched some Champions League, started thinking about the playoffs this weekend. However, while perusing the greatest website of our generation, Twitter, I saw this Tweet from Lacrosse All Stars.

"2010: The Year Of Chill? Who rules the throne: @UNHLacrosse @RedHotBuffs or @chapmanlax?" Accompanied by this link.

It couldn't be true. My piece about CHILLING, of all things, has sparked a well known lacrosse website to an entire column? And they're linking to my website? Well after I choked on my sandwich, I realized that's exactly what happened. That's right, the great people of LAS who brought you the infamous Red Army Controversy, found my blog post about how the word chill has gotten us to where we are today. They even featured a snippet of my article and a picture of myself and my beautiful home on Young Drive. I was literally frozen in shock.

UNH Lacrosse has always flown under the radar. No more. We are officially not only on the map, but being compared to these teams because of our ridiculous amount of schwag. Not to be an egomaniac, but this can only be contributed to one thing. The Blog.

From the creation of the blog, to Twitter, to columns on Collegelax.us, over the course of just one year, this team has generated the exact buzz that I thought would be impossible. Because of the beautiful thing called the internet, players, coaches, and fans are talking about UNH Lacrosse. As pathetic and lonely as it may sound, I can not help but to be incredibly excited. I feel like the proud father of Sidney Crosby. Waking up at 6am for practices, cold drives to rink, hundreds of dollars on skates are the equivalent of sleepless nights thinking about my next column, pesky HTML, and writing articles for the steep price of zero dollars. But then on draft day, when Sid signed an 8 million dollar deal, it all felt like it was worth it.

Well, today, despite my light wallet, I feel like a million bucks. I can see my name in lights, kissing babies and shaking hands with the Pope, while receiving my Pulitzer for Most Incredible Blogger of All-Time. But first, I guess I should worry about the PCLL Playoffs this weekend. nd the giant load of laundry on my floor. That and actually getting a full-time job for after I graduate so I can pay rent. I promise to do my best to not let this all go to my already oversized dome, because the truth is, for anyone to succeed, you gotta keep your comBROsure.

Link to the original Lacrosse All Stars piece can be found here.

'Cats Round Out Regular Season In True Form

In one of the more ridiculous seasons in MCLA history, the UNH Wildcats finished up on Sunday with a win against BU. Despite the goal being scored above, the 'Cats clawed out a 13-12 win on Senior Day improving them to 10-2, which is appropriately, the best season that myself and the other seniors have had in all four years. We've come a long way since going 5-7 last season, also seeing as we were 1-4 within the division, but it hasn't come easy, and it has been far from predictable.

Recently, we played Stonehill College, a team who has given us trouble in the past, but is still a PCLL Division 2 team nonetheless. Well, after sitting in Boston traffic for 2 hours and arriving 8 minutes before the opening draw, we found ourselves in dogfight that we weren't exactly expecting. It took 3OT's, but eventually we got out of there alive, and was ready to move on to BU. Sound similar to another game this season? Like when URI, a team that finished 1-6 this season, and 0-5 in conference took us to double overtime, before we could close them out. Sure both games ended with a W, both coming from OT game winners by #2, but that's not important. In the first season that my seniors and I have won 10 games, here's a few observations from this season:

• Both of our losses came to top 15 teams. (CSU #3, Boston College #15)
• We won six games by 5 goals or less, four by a mere one, two of which were in OT.
• The two teams that took us to OT combined for 5 wins all season.
  
• We won one game by 22 goals, and another by 14.
  
• We beat CU, who beat Michigan, snapping a 75 game winning streak. Irrelevant, but rad.
• We played 6 games in the rain, and one well below freezing, winning all but one of them.
  
• We've been in the Top 25 several times this season, peaking at 17 and currently resting at 24.
• Captain Dan Milano has 26 assists this season, leading the conference. The second guy? 13.
• The top three total point scorers in the PCLL are all from UNH.
• The top three goal scorers in the PCLL are all from UNH, including the top guy who boasts a selfish 28 goals and 4 assists.
• Our defense has only given up more than 10 goals twice.
• Of our enormous roster, rookies Joe Gardiner and R.J. O'Riordan are the ONLY two players who have flow.
  

How did this happen? The stars don't align for any of these stats, and if you try to make sense of it your head might explode. The only thing I have learned is that we don't play well on the road, and that we play down to teams we think we should beat. The good news is, that it's playoffs now it's only good teams from here on out. The better news is that the playoffs are right here in the 603, so we don't have to worry about traveling until we fly to CO, the state where we happened to play our best ball of the year. So getcha popcorn ready, because Friday night at 7 we will be hosting the semifinals of the PCLL playoffs with nothing but momentum on our sides. Except now there's only one rule. In the words of Kenny Blankenship, "Don't Get Eliminated!"

UNH Potluck/Senior Day Tailgate. Don't Know What To Bring? Have No Fear

Like I mentioned earlier, this coming Sunday we will be having a tailgate after the BU game. This is open for all parents, fans, and of course, the players. It will most likely be happening right next to the field as it has in the last few years, but stay tuned for an official announcement. And because of the incredible technology of 2010, you can click on this link below, and see what everyone else is bringing so we don't end up with 64 hot dogs and no buns. This is going to be legitimate, and I promise you that you won't want to miss it. Also, we beat Stonehill the other day, and in UNH Lacrosse form, it took 3 OTs to do so. I'll blog more about it soon, but its Friday and its 80 degrees out, so I don't want to spend it sitting in front of my computer seeing as thats how I'm going to be spending the rest of my Fridays after May 22nd. (sigh)

See what people are bringing!

We Have Officially Just Become the Chillest Team on the East Coast

(Photos courtesy of Tim the Tool Man Harrington)

Chill. This one simple word has gotten the Wildcats to where we are this season. In the past, we have been a team full of hootin' and hollerin, loud warmups, and screaming coaches. No more. Due to a large influence from rookie goaltenders, Jake Katz and RJ O'Riordan, we are a cool, calm and collected group of bros who feed off of positive vibes. When people start to panic, our captains simply just tell everyone to chill. We have Miike Snow and Phoenix on our warm-up. In a game earlier in this season, offensive coordinator Ben Clark was quoted as telling his man up squad to "Keep your comBROsure out there."

A lot of this has come from the vibes of other successful MCLA teams, and we have taken that approach to northeast. In Boulder, there is no choice but to chill. Everyone is relaxed, people are nice, and don't sweat the small stuff. Out in Cali, Connor Martin and Chapman are one of the most successful clubs in the country, and their team is simply a bunch of bros who post ridiculous videos on the internet about flow. Chaptown was the inspiration for our tanks. We were the inspiration for the Red Hot Buffs blog which has recently become an empire, making my blog look like child's play. And everyone is still keen with everyone.

I have made a proposition, to the likes of both Colorado and Chapman via Twitter, offering one of these beach tanks for a piece of your respective merchandise. A tank from Chaptown, and a snazzy COLO-RADO shirt from the Buffs. I am a size large. Bring the live free or attitude to your respective squads, and let's continue to CHILL as hard as I am on my front lawn right now.